What does Teen Dating Violence Look Like?
- A pattern of put-downs, name-calling, yelling, or threats leveled against a dating partner. Abusers use words to gain power and control over their victim, often damaging their partner’s self-esteem and emotional health.
- Encouraging or demanding that a partner neglect relationships with friends and family. The abuser typically shows jealousy of other relationships and monopolizes the victim’s time so that they can’t engage in healthy relationships with others. They usually keep track of all of the victim’s actions and conversations. Young teens often do not realize that this kind of control is abusive. They feel flattered that the abuser wants them all to himself and don’t realize until later the psychological damage inflicted by this behavior. It’s usually necessary for friends or family to point out to the victim that the relationship is not healthy.
- Manipulation of a victim through fear. This can come through aggressive behavior, such as punching a wall, or maintaining a threatening proximity to the victim. Physical abuse can be an implied threat, but hasn’t occurred yet. The abuser may also threaten to harm himself or others as a coercion technique.
- Physical harm caused to a victim’s person or property. This includes hitting, slapping, shoving, kicking, hair pulling, biting, throwing things, choking, and any use of a weapon against a victim.
- Any sexual contact that is not 100% consensual, including any type of pressure or coercion that leads to sexual activity, oral sex, touching or kissing that is unwanted by the victim. This also includes sexual contact with a partner who is intoxicated or drugged and unable to give clear and informed consent.
- The use of any technology to control, pressure, or threaten a dating partner. This includes hacking a partner’s email account or going through their phone to keep track of who they’re talking to, harassing or threatening via social media, pressuring a girlfriend or sext, or sending repeated and unwanted calls or text messages.
